"Let me tell you a-something about my family..."

"We are as thick as thieves." Yes. You heard me... In the voice of Caroline Manzo - the true matriarch of the Bravo Franchise, The Real Housewives of New Jersey. That is one of the many quotes made famous by the mafia clan in New Jersey where the castmates were basically all related in some way, possibly connected by the family of foxes they had turned into fur coats? It's a stretch but I think I'm getting warmer.

As Caroline lunged across the table (right before Teresa flipped that sh*t) she was staring into the firey eyes of Aladdin's Jafar Danielle, who spent the entire season (minus an episode for pole dancing class) harassing the Manzo family. Caroline, trying to keep her cool, spit this warning out along with that pesky piece of spinach that was stuck in her lateral incisor for most of the close up scenes?!  A warning for Danielle, a warning for the viewers, a warning for anyone who ever approached her family - This was HER family and she would do anything and everything to PROTECT her family. That is when I knew. Knew what you ask? Although I didn't see it there before, I knew that I too must own a gorgeous fox fur coat in my closet.

The reason I am "re-airing" a long ago episode today is because a long ago episode has reaired today in my life. In MY family. What do you do when people harass or attack your family? Ignore it right? Move past it and take the high road.  Turn the other cheek is one motto I love. Now what do you do when your FAMILY attacks your FAMILY? Ignore it? Hope it goes away? Let the ones involved fight their own battles? Impossible. People are bound to be hurt and you may not be "involved" but before you know it... the line is drawn in the sand and you're on one side of it.  Not to mention that when there is fighting.. someone is wrong and someone is right. You can't both be right if somewhere, someone was wrong. I'm confusing myself but... when someone is wrong, they need to be corrected. In PreK, toddlers are taught that if they rip a toy out from someone else's hands while the other child is playing with it - that is wrong. Then the sweet, frizzy haired PreK assistant (sound familiar?) teaches the toddler to apologize and say - "I'm sorry." Incorrect behavior MUST be corrected. Plain and simple.

Now what happens when those toddlers grow up into adults? When they trade those pull up pants for panties, who steps in to correct the adults and make them apologize? NO ONE. This is where the issues lie. We expect everyone to do the "right" thing and apologize for the wrongs they have done to another. We expect the self absorbed adult to see someone else's viewpoint. We expect the world to stop rotating so we can have more of the hot summery days instead of those cold, dreary nights.

You get my point ... Maybe we are expecting too much? Maybe. But I don't think so. We aren't even expecting everyone to get along because that's difficult in a family to begin with, let alone this tribe we've grown. We aren't expecting for there to be NO fighting what-so-ever.  All we are expecting is for adults to behave like adults. To remember that your actions have consequences.  But instead, I find myself wondering if these adults need a refresher course from PreK: To remember the golden rule - treat others as you want to be treated. That the world does not revolve around you. To remember to use your words, not your hands. To remember red means stop and green means go. ENOUGH. I have had it with adults acting like preschoolers. Actually less than preschoolers because my nieces behave better than they do and they are in PreK. My nieces use the golden rule everyday and don't need to read this blog in order to do so.

My point is this: If a family is being tormented by it's OWN FAMILY, how do we correct this? Is it too late for an intervention? I want to believe in what they say on the show - that it's never too late for an intervention and it works best when you've hit your rock bottom. This is our rock bottom. We are a disaster. Just like the sad, alcoholic who cries and lies naked on the front porch, wasted on vodka all day, everyday in front of her children, we too, are sad brothers & sisters who cry and vomit on emails, wasted on drama and childish behavior all day, everyday in front of our mother. This is our rock bottom. Question is - are we "as thick as thieves" as the Manzo clan, capable of rebuilding our foundation? And if so - is it worth it? I'm not sure anymore. If we were "as thick as thieves" to begin with, I wouldn't be writing this blog. We would be supportive and structurally sound - incapable of collapse. Holding each other up. But yet...here I sit telling "you a-something about my family."